News reports indicate that the calm of this lovely Saturday morning was broken by explosions at Battelle Headquarters. First responders have made their appearance and a two-block area has been cordoned off. The company's statement to the media claim that the fast-moving storm last night caused a minor power outage, and that everything is well under control. Citizens for a Safe Ohio have gathered to protest. "This company is an example of what's wrong with America today," said an anonymous protester. "Battelle is known for dealing with toxic chemicals and hazardous materials, right here in the heart of Columbus. We need more oversight!"